Slip Slidin’ Away…

We had sort of a sucky storm blow through, it actually warmed from about 28 to 34 from mid-afternoon through the evening. What this means is major ice. We went to Super Wal-Mart for our monthly grocery shopping (about 40 miles away), and then to another town to drop off some photographs for an exhibit.

Driving was a bit hectic, but no big deal. It was the walking that was dangerous, in fact it was downright comedic. When I slid out of my truck at Wally World my feet hit the ground and kept on sliding. My butt hit the threshold of the door, the truck’s running board and finally the hard, cold ground.

After shopping we dropped our photos off at East Otter Tail County Museum, a cool Episcopal church built in the 1870’s, Laurie stepped off the grass at the side of the street onto the sidewalk, she went down right on her back and bottom, almost hitting her head. (Some disabled individuals who are prone to falling wear bicycle helmets, we may need to consider a similar strategy.)

We (carefully!) moved the photos and were invited for a personal tour of the museum, Laurie and the curator went inside and I said I’d follow after closing up the back of the truck. They locked the door after they went in and didn’t hear my knocking so I started to go around the side of the church to knock on a side window thinking they’d hear me better. I started to step off the side of the step and there I went again, my butt hitting the top step, second step and ground; flailing my arms wildly the whole time.

It’s very frustrating to have such a basic, everyday function like walking become so compromised.

We drove home, unloaded our groceries and sat painfully on the couch and watched a stupid movie.

This morning I ache.

Theology Schmeology…

The past few days have taught me that I need to be silent about things I don’t know, like politics, current events and theology. I need to write more about things I do know, like people, disability and photography.

Check out Christian Aesthetics newly installed on the sidebar.

Life & Death…

One week ago this client died, which was a loss…or was it? All that this man knew was that Jesus loved him and died for him; he knew that story and only in words of two syllables or less…and that was enough. In the midst of so much brilliance a man with a lobotomy lived and died the gospel before my eyes.

I’m sure that somebody could perform a very apt forensic analysis of at what exact level a disabled person must function at to adequitely receive salvation…but frankly, if there’s a case for monergism, it’s my clients. God saves ‘em. We care for them, we feed them, we wipe their butts and pump nutrition into their bellies through little tubes. We fuss with the county and the state for funds and we show doctors and nurses how to care for them…but God saves them, each and every one. I am in awe.

One of my co-workers shared at the funeral about how he would hear over a monitor this client (in his fifties) lying in bed reminding himself, “I need to wait for Ron…”, “I need to wait for Ron…” before getting up each morning. Then when he would enter the client’s bedroom the client would hide underneath the covers playing ‘hide & seek’.

I’m more firmly convinced than ever that the way of love is taught through the stories that we experience and hear in the context of the communities in which we’re immersed. Oh no, I used the “e” word, heresy! Michael Card sings; “You and I we often use so many clumsy words, the point of what we often say is not worth being heard.” My clients and my coworkers are teaching me to speak less and act more (1 Cor 13).

I know I’m pretty emotional today; my heart has been broken by so much love and so many hugs. May I never let my mind edit the words my heart speaks.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ…

Today our community celebrated the life and shared the loss of a man who was broken and shattered, who never wrote, never read, never had a wife or fathered a child. His cognitive skills never developed past that of a five (or so) year old.

His left side never worked right, his eyes didn’t quite track and he didn’t always make it to the bathroom on time. Ice-eritis (arthritis) eventually paralyzed him, I had to tell him (repeatedly) that he’d never walk again and boy was he pissed.

He received each day at face value and greeted everyone as a long-lost friend bearing gifts. He’d rather hear Boxcar Willy than Mozart and after his mom left the party he’d ask for a beer.

He was born, he spent his life in a broken body, he died and he will be resurrected; this is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

The Long Sleep…

This morning I received a call from my director, the client I mentioned did not see today’s sun rise. Today is the second day of a harsh introduction to winter, the ground has disappeared and will likely not reappear until sometime in April; the cold, dark bitternes of loss and death, there are no leaves, there is no green grass, many creatures have descended into their burrows and have fallen asleep until the warmer days come.

In a sense I envy my client, the pain, the tears and the disability are done. When ressurected he will have a new body that will serve him well, not like the broken one that he suffered with in this life. His brain will be fully developed, he will no longer need to fight to think, to talk, to feel or to breathe.

I could never look into this man’s eyes or look at his body without feeling the hope of the ressurection swell in my spirit. As I picture the hospital room in which I visited him last night I’m not picturing his broken and worn out body lying on the bed, I’m picturing the empty wheelchair sitting unneeded by the sink.

I look forward to spending eternity with my friend, my brother..

Community…

I spent about an hour today holding and patting the hand of an inchoherant client who may not see the sun rise. If he enters the long sleep this night, I will in the morning join my co-workers in tears and write a long letter (at his guardian’s request) to read at his funeral.

Community are those with whom you live and die and celebrate (and in doing so experience) Jesus.